BRAVEHEART

I’ve spent the last week coming to terms with one of the worst set of events that have befallen me for many a while. Those of you who are familiar with my blogs will know I’m a bit of a karma person who is ready to accept events in my life happening for a reason and purpose. Last weekend did challenge that belief quite significantly. It all started with a phone call on the Friday, which I’ll get to in a minute. Sunday morning saw the disqualification for a minor infraction of rules of my Cambrian Patrol team that had been in preparation and training for the best part of 8 months. I then returned home on Sunday evening to find a notification from North Wales Police road safety bods to say that I had been clocked at 35 mph in a 30 mph zone – A546 from Llandudno Junction to Deganwy. Have a look next time you’re on that road and tell me how you think it looks like a 30!! That is a whole story in itself but not one for this post. Suffice to say it was the final kick in the nuts on a weekend of very sore balls!

Back to the phone call. I was running round the perimeter of Sennybridge Camp filling time while the team were out on the ground and news of disqualification was still over a day and a half away. In February Claire had undergone a series of tests to establish whether or not she could go on the list for a double lung transplant. 8 months later, on that Friday morning, we received news from those who decide these things that, due to poor bone density, they would not take a risk on the operation. This news immediately condemned Claire to spend the rest of her life dependent on oxygen and the knowledge that she now, almost certainly knows her killer.

After we both hung up, neither of us being able to say anything, I decided that I should not spend any more time away from her side than was necessary and immediately emailed Kevin at Likeys to say that I was pulling out of the Beacons Ultra.

I returned home on Sunday, still unsure how to cope with our news and, I’m ashamed to say didn’t handle it very well. My usual play it cool and keep the situation in the background was not appropriate in this case and I probably did more harm than good, with Claire obviously upset but me too numb and tired to do anything. The next day I apologised and pledged to support Claire anyway she wanted me to which was appreciated. What I also found was that, between that phone call and me returning home, Claire had not simply locked herself away and felt sorry for herself but had busied herself working on our garden bar so it would be ready for me when I got back. Unfortunately it still isn’t quite complete but I appreciated this massive act of selflessness massively.

Next surprise was Claire’s insistence that I take part in Beacons Ultra after all. She didn’t want me to focus all my energies on her and none on myself, saying that this wasn’t fair. Another amazing act of selflessness, which I aim to repay by getting round the course even though my training has been woefully inadequate. I have remembered my statement on the header of my Just Giving page when I was doing G2G Ultra, which said I was running 170 miles because some struggle to walk 170 metres. It would be very wrong for me to not use the little talent I have when others would give anything to be able to have my opportunities.

So on 14^th Nov I will be lining up with a couple of hundred other like-minded fools to wobble 46-ish miles around the Brecon Beacons, although I doubt too many will have the same inspiration pushing them round the course. I know it’s going to hurt but I can live with that because I know the pain will pass. Isn’t that why we run anyway?

Claire won’t thank me for posting this because she never wants to put herself first but I am going to because I want people to know the strength and bravery of this incredible lady. Small in stature but with a massive heart and inner strength that most people can only dream of.