It seems my writer's block / general apathy has been in full bloom lately as it appears that I have not posted anything for over 2 months. If truth be told, there has been little of note to write about. Claire and I had a fantastic trip across Europe to Croatia and back at the end of May but that will eventually have its own write up so I'm not going to put anything down here.
Training has been plodding on without any fuss although nowhere near as much as I had planned due to a number of reasons. I managed to bang out a trail marathon - just like that - a couple of weeks ago but generally I'm not really getting above 20k at any one time and nowhere near consistently enough.
The result is that I have now withdrawn from the NDW100. If I had done a 100 miler before and had some idea what to expect then I probably would have gone along and toughed it out but I just don't feel prepared enough for that. I'm still confident that Ring Of Fire will go well and that should give me the confidence to push on and do Offa's Dyke. Following that though, I can't see myself entering anything other than local middle distance races and Beacons Ultra which I have entered in November simply because it's such a nice race.
My biggest and saddest realisation though is that it is now highly unlikely that I will enter 6633 Ultra. This immense race would require a level of training and commitment that I simply can't justify without compromising Claire, work, the kids or even all 3. I don't wish my life to be different but I do envy those who have enough of a balance in life to be able to do the things they do. Maybe they are just more selfish than me. Whatever it is they have, I haven't got it!!
I can look back on my running career and feel proud. I have run faster and further than a high percentage of the population and have made many new friends in the process. I'm not going to say it is all over but a chapter is coming to an end and it remains to be seen whether a new one will begin.
This is the real life, it isn't fantasy. I'm not caught in a landslide but there is no escape from reality.
